So I have always wanted to be a mother. Even when I was six years old, I was basically like a mother hen to my younger sister. I volunteered all throughout high school as a summer camp counselor, and then worked as an assistant at my college day care center looking over the most delicious babies. I think I had baby fever ever since I was a baby!
After I moved to Colorado and got married, my husband and I wanted kids right away. But it didn’t happen that way. We found out that I had several fertility issues (PCOS, pre-diabetes, a misshaped cervix and uterus–a lot!). We underwent several IUIs and IVFs and I was able to get pregnant twice. One I miscarried and the other ended up being an ectopic pregnancy. I was admitted into the ER late one night because I was doubling over in pain, and the ultrasound showed that the baby had implanted in my left tube. The doctors insisted that I had to abort the pregnancy and I went through two rounds of Methotrexate (a form of Chemotherapy). I remember feeling so broken and betrayed by my body. I felt like I was drowning and my life was spinning out of control.
My husband and I decided to pause on the fertility treatments and just live life. After a while there was just so much sadness and hurt over the loss and pain that I forgot about all the other blessings I had in life. It was time to stop mourning. So we adopted a puppy whom we fell madly in love with. And then that very month we brought Bella home–I found out I was expecting. Two little angels. Two little miracles.
And thinking back, I honestly would not have it any other way. It made our marriage stronger and deeper. It brought us to Bella, who gives our family so much joy. It makes us celebrate every single day we can call ourselves parents. And to finally have a healthy baby girl, to feel her heartbeat against my chest when I snuggle her, to see her take her first wobbly steps, to hear her say mama and dada…we would do everything all over and over and over again.
