Dannica was never an easy baby, even from day one…I will share her birth story another time (NOT for the faint of heart), but let’s just say that I really thought I was one and done after her! She was so colicky her first six months of life that when I look back, it all seems like one long endless blur of her fussing, crying and shrieking. Four hour crying sessions were a daily norm, and we even ended up in the ER twice because she cried so hard that she completely stopped breathing to the point where her body turned purple.
Before I had her, I read volumes upon volumes of books on newborn care, and my husband and I went to several “Baby 101” classes. I wouldn’t say it was a waste of time, but nothing can really prepare you for a real live baby. All baby rearing rules and rationale went out the window once Dannica was in our arms, and I just followed my instinct on what I felt was best for her. I didn’t have the heart to let her cry it out (especially when she was crying all day long already) and we ended up co-sleeping with Dannica until she was 2 years old. Her beautiful crib in her beautiful nursery stayed spick and span new and collected copious amounts of dust. Interestingly enough, this was the ONE rule that I really thought my husband and I would never ever break. This just goes to show how humbling of an experience parenthood is. You think you are in control, until you realize that’s the farthest from the truth. You think you got a handle on things, until you’re thrown a wicked curveball. And you think you’ve prepared for the worst, until you realize how naive you were to even think in such limited capacities.
SO. Months went by. And then we found out we were expecting! And we realized we really had to let Dannica grow up. I ended up absolutely loving her being in bed with me, but it would just not be practical once baby brother came and I had to nurse him every two hours. So we decided to bite the bullet and transition her straight away into a toddler bed.
The first thing we did was to makeover her playroom, which was far more familiar and safe to her than her unused nursery. And we paid careful attention when making over her room to ensure the smoothest transition possible (read about her big girl bedroom makeover here). We planned and thought through every detail–nothing was left to chance. Then we made a HUGE fanfare about her special room and her special bed, and how incredibly lucky she was to get such an amazing bed that looked just like mommy and daddy’s.
For the actual sleeping, we started out with ONLY naps. We made sure that we got her nice and tired to the point where she could fall asleep just about anywhere. She still put up the biggest fight–she cried and screamed. So my husband napped right next to her on the floor beside her bed. He did it again the next day. And then by the third day, she happily climbed into bed herself! We stuck to just the naps for a full week before we even attempted sleeping her overnight.
The first night was awful. She cried and screamed again. So my husband slept the entire night on the floor right next to her. He did that for a few days. And then when she stopped crying altogether, he slept right by the door, further away from her. For a few nights, she kept climbing out of her bed and walking over to my husband, hugging him and asking him to sleep next to her. But she wasn’t crying so he just held his ground and would walk her back to her bed each time she climbed out. Then after that, he slept right outside her bedroom door on the wooden floor, and THIS was the BIGGEST surprise of all. She was completely fine by then!! She told him to close her door. My husband sat by the door (for what seemed like forever), and then cracked it open. When he peered inside, Dannica was fast asleep, softly snoring away. And she didn’t come out of her bed until the following morning when she toddled over to our room and said, “Nana woke up! Nana slept in big girl bed!!!!” And she’s been sleeping there ever since!!!
Now, I don’t think this will work for all toddlers. The ONLY common ground that all children share is that they are all different with different needs. I just wanted to share what worked for us. Little tips that I think worked for us: 1. We waited until we could “reason and talk to her” 2. We started out with naps only 3. We took little tiny baby steps 4. We kept everything else consistent (that’s why it was always my husband sleep training her instead of us taking turns) 5. Trust your instinct and gut!
And at the end of the day, they won’t be in your bed forever. So enjoy and soak in this time when they still want to be little and loved on!
